it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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