Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
