so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Randomize
