it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
