Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
