just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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