I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
These tits shall not be calmed
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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