why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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