I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
