I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
