Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
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