We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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