I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
