We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I need a beard to bite.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
