I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
