I bet he comes in French.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
