Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
