if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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