Already got asked if we're dating
We need to rekindle our bromance
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
