Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry GloryBurning hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(781): View more from Massachusetts

So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay

Fav 11 5020 1691
share tweet
(904): View more from Florida

SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.

Fav 23 5620 1787
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(613): View more from Ontario

She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"

Fav 8 3432 1132
share tweet
(360): View more from Washington

Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.

Fav 32 2174 7996
share tweet
(513): View more from Ohio

I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration

Fav 20 1990 2839
share tweet
(814): View more from Pennsylvania

I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?

Fav 8 1924 959
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(970): View more from Colorado

From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.

Fav 13 2961 1018
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(847): View more from Illinois

Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.

Fav 3 809 432
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(734): View more from Michigan

...hi

(603): View more from New Hampshire

YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF

(734): View more from Michigan

Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.

Fav 0 92 8
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT