White coat. Heels.
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize