I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Randomize
