Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize