Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
