It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
