just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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