it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
