Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Randomize