Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
