One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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