yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
