this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
Randomize