the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
