The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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