your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
i just made my gag reflex go away.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
