Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
