well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
