Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize