Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
