You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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