they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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