i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
