Pants 0. Shit 1.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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