My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize