I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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