You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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