In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
