dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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