I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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