...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
there was a trapeze. enough said
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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