Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
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