Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
