it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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