1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
