just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
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